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Crickets

I know you haven’t heard from me since the 30/30 I did in April (which clearly took more energy than I thought) and my acceptance into graduate school, but there is really nothing much to report. I have unfortunately decided to not take my place at UB, or at least not until I can afford it. It’s a great school, with a great program, but I can’t do that to myself right now.

The other things I highlighted on in April, including crossing a few t’s and dotting a few i’s? Well you’ll still have to wait on that too because I still haven’t crossed my t’s or dotted my i’s. Save a few dollars for me though around the fall 😉

I’m trying to write, but I just can’t for some reason. I try, but nothing comes… Or nothing good comes. I think it’s because a piece I wrote in January or so still isn’t getting picked up and I feel like everything else I write is worthless, even though it isn’t. I hope this lull of not writing and not sending out work for publication and not getting published ends soon. I can’t very well teach little people how to write unless I do it myself, right?

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So…. about that 30/30

Told you guys I would update you on the 30/30 poem a day challenge I did for National Poetry Month, so here goes:

Drumroll please!

…………..

Okay, so I didn’t make it (sad face), but I came close! I wrote 28 out of 30, which is better than the last time I decided to write 30 poems in 30 days (last summer). That time I got around 25 or 26, so any progress is good progress! Next time, I’m gonna rock it out of the park! I’m thinking about posting a couple of pieces not sure yet.

Also, I have a week to decide if UB is the place for my MFA. I’ve gotten accepted, the program director seems to love me, it’s in town, and I already know a couple students. Decisions, decisions….

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Behind on my 30/30, but….

Hey everybody!

I’ve been attempting (poorly, might I add) to write 30 poems in 30 days. I am currently at 19 out of 30, which isn’t necessarily all that bad, but today is the 23rd. I’m 4 poems behind, and I am losing my mind. I’m going to have to play catch up for sure.

But, never fear, there is good news!

I’ve been submitting and applying and doing a whole lot of waiting. I’ve gotten a couple rejection letters, but who doesn’t? I’ve also been admitted to an MFA program. I’m not sure if I want to start this fall or wait until next fall while I check out other options.

There’s even more good news, but I don’t want to jinx it, so you’ll have to keep waiting until I’m ready to share. Let’s just say it involves crossing a few more t’s and dotting more i’s… 🙂

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Grad School

I’ve gotten bitten by the grad school bug, and I think I’m ready to finally apply. It’s been over two years since I’ve been in school, so this whole process feels so weird. I have to find my “best work” whatever that means, and I have to choose between poetry and nonfiction. University of Baltimore said that if I sent both genres they’d choose for me and that I’d be able to change it later if I was completely unhappy, but still, how am I to choose between two things that I love for different reasons?

Poetry – at least my poetry – is short, sweet, and to the point, with some out there statements and colloquial language. I let myself live in other worlds, or I enhance my own world with flowery language.

My nonfiction stuff hurts. It hurts to write, and it hurts to read (or at least, that’s what I’ve been told). It’s raw – almost too raw – like I want everybody to know everything about me and why I write and what I need to get off my chest. I write my hurt. I write my happy. I write my in-betweens.

Writing is very cathartic to me, and I guess I do write for that reason, but maybe I’m just scared to put it out there. Maybe I’m not ready to be that out there. Maybe it’s not my time. Maybe I don’t have much to say at all and only think I do.

I’m also thinking about applying to Hollins for that MFA program, but I am not completely sure about that. UB seems right. I met with the director of the program, and she seems absolutely lovely. Other contenders are Spalding, Hopkins, and VCFA – none of which I have visited – yet (Hopkins I am visiting in April).

Any suggestions or particularly good programs you’d like to bag about? Drop them in the comments section 🙂

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Rejections

I get them. I get a lot of them. And each rejection is starting to hurt just a little less, but I must say, each one also gives me something to strive for. Now I’m not the absolute best by any means. I am not perfect. And generally, my writing is very touchy-feely, very passionate, very pro-black; not many people are into that. Does that make me a bad writer? No. It just means that my work is not for everyone, and that’s completely fine.

I don’t write anything I don’t experience (for the most part). I don’t write about nature. I don’t write about the stars. I don’t write about traveling… or at least not that much.

I write about the hurt. I write about pain. I write about my blackness. I write about my womanhood. I write about my queerness. I write about Baltimore, a city I have a love/hate relationship with. I write about men. I write about women. I write about liminal spaces. I write about magic. I write the depression. I write the sex. I write the ugly.

I just think of rejections as people saying it’s not my time to shine yet. One day, it will be.

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update

I have so missed updating everybody with my work and life, so I have a lot of updates for you!

I graduated from undergrad May 2015. I taught for a year and a half, leaving the classroom in order to focus more on myself and my writing. However, I do substitute and work as a freelance editor now, so I feel lucky enough to be able to do so.

From summer 2016 until now, the following sites have published my work:

In addition to poetry, I have also been working on a nonfiction project/future book of sorts about a previous mostly platonic relationship I have had that stemmed from a project I was originally working on during undergrad but nixed it. I will keep you updated on that too.

Take care y’all & please share!

– A. Elizabeth